Today I am happy to report that I woke up finally excited and PROUD of what I have done. I hit 75 pounds today. Wow! 75 pounds. I am so pumped and ready to finish this journey. I went to weight watchers today with a heavy heart. I was excited, but wanted help for the consistent stress levels that I have been feeling. I got emotional and was also recognized for my accomplishments. I left the meeting feeling rejuvenated and ready to kick the rest of these pounds. I found out today that my goal weight is 124-155. OMG!! My response to that was: Hell I am going to be dead when I meet my blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar ranges, and not to mention my weight of 155. That seems unattainable. I mean I came out of the womb weighing 200!!! Lol. I am going to focus on the 10% number of what I weigh now. I am a bit upset that my goal of being done by September will not be accurate but just how cool would it be if I lost 150 pounds??!!
I will not settle for negativity anymore. I will not settle for than less than my absolute best!!! It's on people!!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
April 2011
Here I am again... A lot to talk about this post...
I have struggled something serious this past month. I am still losing weight, but I have been so overwhelmed by the process. I mean I spoke earlier about the negativity that I feel towards myself and I am working on those feelings. I can not help to take notice of the way people treat me now. I may be imagining this, but here goes some sort of explanation. I am very good at my occupation as a registered nurse. I am able to complete this job no matter the task. I have recently had more respect and less negative comments about my performance as co-workers are seeing me in a different light. It definetly may be the fact that I am more vocal and opinionated (I know hard to believe). Here lately, I get more looks out in public from all different types of people... I guess I felt invisible. I am saying that there are more issues as I lose weight than I imagined there would be. No one prepares you for this when you start changing your lifestyle. I want to feel on the inside like many of the people in my life see on the outside. When I look in the mirror I still see a 300 pound woman.
This past month was a very emotional one. For as long as I can remember, I have based my status in life upon my weight. I have judged my ability to conquer obstacles based on my ideas of how my weight was holding me back. I was forced to develope a strong personality early in my life due to the issues that I thought everyone else had with my weight. So now I struggling with who I really am. I mean I am outspoken and sometimes funny and very compassionate towards others, but who is this person that does not feel like she has to hide behind her size any more??? It is very upsetting to think that my weight has caused so many freaking issues within my heart. However, I am steadily moving forward.
On a positive note, I am told weekly if not daily that my drive and desire to lose weight has inspired so many others. The reason I chose to bear it all on here is so that I could motivate someone else to do what I have done. My prayer is that my emotional issues will help someone who feels the same way succeed just as I have. As of today I am down 74.8 pounds and I so excited to reach my goal. I have approximately 50 more pounds to go. I am trying to focus on the changes in my life rather than the road needing to be traveled (if that makes any sense).
Soap box: Just because someone loses weight does not mean they are trying to leave their spouse, get prepared for a life of partying and adultry. I had an emotional breakdown 2 weeks ago because I overheard a co-worker make a comment about my intentions. If you want to piss me off just question my motives. I am a honest, hardworking, fair, and loyal friend, nurse and wife. If anyone has questioned my reasoning, please know that my intentions are to eliminate my diabetes, hypertension, and increased risk for high cholesterol. Simply put, I want to be healthy. NO I do not want your husband or boyfriend!!! But thanks for giving me the credit that I could actually steal them away from you.... HA HA!!
I am thankful for the support I have and believe me the comments on my facebook 2 weeks ago truly touched me... thank you!
I have struggled something serious this past month. I am still losing weight, but I have been so overwhelmed by the process. I mean I spoke earlier about the negativity that I feel towards myself and I am working on those feelings. I can not help to take notice of the way people treat me now. I may be imagining this, but here goes some sort of explanation. I am very good at my occupation as a registered nurse. I am able to complete this job no matter the task. I have recently had more respect and less negative comments about my performance as co-workers are seeing me in a different light. It definetly may be the fact that I am more vocal and opinionated (I know hard to believe). Here lately, I get more looks out in public from all different types of people... I guess I felt invisible. I am saying that there are more issues as I lose weight than I imagined there would be. No one prepares you for this when you start changing your lifestyle. I want to feel on the inside like many of the people in my life see on the outside. When I look in the mirror I still see a 300 pound woman.
This past month was a very emotional one. For as long as I can remember, I have based my status in life upon my weight. I have judged my ability to conquer obstacles based on my ideas of how my weight was holding me back. I was forced to develope a strong personality early in my life due to the issues that I thought everyone else had with my weight. So now I struggling with who I really am. I mean I am outspoken and sometimes funny and very compassionate towards others, but who is this person that does not feel like she has to hide behind her size any more??? It is very upsetting to think that my weight has caused so many freaking issues within my heart. However, I am steadily moving forward.
On a positive note, I am told weekly if not daily that my drive and desire to lose weight has inspired so many others. The reason I chose to bear it all on here is so that I could motivate someone else to do what I have done. My prayer is that my emotional issues will help someone who feels the same way succeed just as I have. As of today I am down 74.8 pounds and I so excited to reach my goal. I have approximately 50 more pounds to go. I am trying to focus on the changes in my life rather than the road needing to be traveled (if that makes any sense).
Soap box: Just because someone loses weight does not mean they are trying to leave their spouse, get prepared for a life of partying and adultry. I had an emotional breakdown 2 weeks ago because I overheard a co-worker make a comment about my intentions. If you want to piss me off just question my motives. I am a honest, hardworking, fair, and loyal friend, nurse and wife. If anyone has questioned my reasoning, please know that my intentions are to eliminate my diabetes, hypertension, and increased risk for high cholesterol. Simply put, I want to be healthy. NO I do not want your husband or boyfriend!!! But thanks for giving me the credit that I could actually steal them away from you.... HA HA!!
I am thankful for the support I have and believe me the comments on my facebook 2 weeks ago truly touched me... thank you!
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