February 2011

I have decided to do monthly posts until I catch up because so many serious changes have occurred in my thoughts and lifestyle I just want to be sure ans share them all with ya...

So at Cooper's 5th Bday, I got some really fantastic compliments from family and friends.  somehow someway it motivated me to go back to WW.  So I did... I was super nervous and embarrassed bc I hadn't been since December.  I am pretty sure they are used to it, but I had run out of excuses as to why I hadn't been so i just sucked it up and went.  WOW! I had only gained 1.2 pounds in 2 months.  I knew then that even if i slipped up, I had to persevere and quit jacking around with this or it would be a life long struggle.  I started back on WW and it was like I had to start all over again with the mental positive self talking!!!  I do not know about all of you guys that struggle with negative self talk, but it consumes you 100%.  I found myself nagging myself.  Talk about a goober...I started back on WW and started sailing. 

I want to take a break and talk about what my starting over on WW did to the people around me.  I often find myself lashing out, over reacting, and just plain hateful when I start on a "DIET".  I do not know why... maybe it is the lack of what I think i need, or the fact that I have gotten myself to this point of HAVE TO lose weight..  or maybe the fact that they can eat whatever they want and it just doesn't cause them to become obese.  You know we have all done it.... wished the skinny girl would go to bed and wake up fatter than fat!!!! LOL!!! Maybe not that bad, but just a little... please God...

It took a while for me to quit with the anger and lashing out.... (Forgive me Jason and co-workers).  I guess it just caused me to get upset with myself mainly because I was the only person in the world responsible for gaining the weight and now I was the only one responsible for losing it...



Jan-Feb 2011